


King and Queen of Scars

by sturmwitch_ZN22



Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22315147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sturmwitch_ZN22/pseuds/sturmwitch_ZN22
Summary: Me, afraid of, you? Don't make me laugh. Zoya said, with her hands on her hips and a mocking curl on her lips.I'm not trying to. Not right now, at least. You're already a queen Zoya, I just want you to be mine. Nikolai replied, his heart in his eyes for once.This is a collection of one-shots starring our favorite golden king and his storm witch. To hopefully keep us, until KoS 2
Relationships: Nikolai Lantsov/Zoya Nazyalensky
Kudos: 42





	1. Tipsy

"I'm really not that drunk you know." Nikolai said while he and Zoya are unsteadily making their way to his chambers.

"Of course you're not. You were clearly not inebriated when you attempted to make a fool of yourself in front of the Lantsov pretender." Zoya snapped irritably. Nikolai had his arm around her shoulder and her arm is rap around his waist. The king is leaning heavily on her and it's a slow process because he would sway from time to time.

"You look so much prettier whenever you scowl at me Nazyalensky. Must be the twist of those captivating lips of yours." Nikolai quipped, his breath tickling the side of Zoya's neck.

"Do shut-up Nikolai." Zoya growled and had Nikolai looked, he would have seen the now familiar flash of silver in Zoya's normally striking blue eyes.

The two of them finally reached the kings chambers. It took a bit of maneuvering mostly on Zoya’s part and a few stumbles in Nikolai’s but at last, Zoya got Nikolai into bed. He sank into it just like a rock, not even removing his party clothes. Has she needed any more proof that he's drunk, this would have been it.

So Zoya release an exasperated sigh and tried to take as much clothes off of him as she could. "Honestly, you're such a pane Your Highness. You're getting married tomorrow and you still pull off a stunt like this." she unlaced his boots and yank them off with more force than necessary.

"Be gentle Zoya dear." Nikolai said, turning on his side to make her job more difficult.

"I thought you know I'm never sweet nor gentle your highness." she replied while tugging on his coat. As soon as she turned him on his back, Zoya leaned over and started to unbutton the garment. "Stop being difficult." she scolded him when he wiggled slightly under her fingers.

Nikolai suddenly reached for a wayward lock of her hair and said, "What if I'm having second thoughts about this marriage Zoya? If I tell you, I don't think I can go through with this sham after all."

Zoya stilled, but she fought her instincts to move away. Instead, she stared straight into Nikolai's hazel eyes to drive her point home. "You don't have the luxury of second thoughts Nikolai. Ravka needs you to do what must be done, you know that. You never doubted yourself before, don't start now."

"My ruthless Zoya, even your pep talk sounded like a series of sharp commands." Nikolai tried to joke but it was a useless attempt and they both new it. So he just twirled the silk strand in his fingers while a contemplative look clouded his fine features.

Zoya could have pulled away if she wanted to but to her annoyance, she found that she did not. Her king is faltering before her eyes and she would never stand for it. "I am a general your highness, it's my job to do that. Besides, you didn't get where you are now for being weak. You knew what you had to do and you did not hesitate to do it. You'll get through this, just like the other things you've faced. And then..."

It was her, who stumble this time. After this royal marriage, and then what? Zoya knew this would happen, she was the one who pushed Nikolai to it but... She was not prepared for the storm of emotions that battered her heart. Knowing and living are indeed two very, very different things and she would do well to remember it.

"And then?" Nikolai's quiet voice snapped her back into reality. His undivided attention is on her now, the sharp eyes she grew to be fond of are watching her with an intensity that threaten to crumble her resolve. She noticed that a strand of her hair was still curled in Nikolai's finger and there for links them together.

Not letting herself to second guess her decision, Zoya leaned away and straighten herself. Effectively cutting the thing that tethered the two of them. "You'll deal with more problems than you know what to do with. This is Ravka after all." she told him briskly and she even added a dismissive waive to make herself look indifferent to him.

As if it does not matter. Like she doesn't care. All that had happened in the last three years were not important to her. 'He's not mine to keep.' If she told herself that enough times, it might dull the sharp pinpricks somewhat.

"Not very reassuring. But, I concede your point."

"As you should." Zoya sniffed. "Good night your highness."

She made to leave but Nikolai seized her by the wrist and the shock of his touch stopped her long enough to hear his request. "Tell me lies Nazyalensky, say pretty words until I fall asleep. At least do this for your king."

Nikolai was looking at her with desperation, longing and a plethora of other emotions that flashed too quickly across his eyes that not even Zoya, could identify them. She and Nikolai weren’t physically oriented people. For him to touch her, he must really needed a distraction. Looks like he was right, he was not that drunk after all.

So Zoya perched herself on the chair near the bed and started to tell her tall tales. "I see it written in the stars that after a lot of hardships, you'll finally marry the love of your life."

"What's she like?" Nikolai asked, relinquishing his hold on her in favor of crossing his arms behind his head.

"Kind to a fault, pretty as a purl and a classic damsel in distress."

"Might I ask how did our fated meeting went? Did I save her from her neglectful relatives? Or did I slue the beast that's terrorizing the kingdom and they gave me their precious princess to be my bride as thanks for vanquishing the evil villain."

"Ah, this is why I have the ability to see the future and not you. You're too predictable Nikolai."

"By all means, show me how it's truly done Nazyalensky." Nikolai let-out his usual easy smile and she took it as a challenge.

"You were sailing with your crew and you found her stowing away on your ship. The moment your eyes met, you fell in love with her instantly. You've learned that she was running away from a wealthy old merchant that's trying to force her into wedlock. So you did not waste time in taking her away from that horrible place and bringing her to Ravka. In spite of everyone's objections, the king of Ravka married a common slave girl and they lived happily ever after." Zoya finished with a flourish.

"And where were you in this fairy tale? I can't imagine that my fierce general let all of that happen. Peacefully living in the Little Palace with a lot of jewels and cash than you'd know what to do with, I hope."

"Not quite. Of course I'll know what to do with them Nikolai, don't be stupid. You did not listen to my sound advice but since you outsmarted all of Ravka's enemies, I let you have your way." she stood, "I've fulfilled your wish your highness, I'll take my leave now."

Nikolai sleepily reached for her kefta but he missed. "Tell me one last lie Zoya, let's continue our game in that carriage long ago. Tell me you love me, my lovely wife."

Zoya's almost out the room before she replied, only her face was visible to Nikolai. "I won't."

"Why?" Nikolai's eyes fell close as he asked, not letting her see the emotions that she was certain playing in them.

"Because if I did tell you that, it wouldn't be a lie Nikolai." Zoya whispered. The last thing she saw was Nikolai had sat up, his hand lifted as if to stay her, his bewildered gaze was firmly fixed on her retreating form and his mouth opened to say something. But Zoya, closed the door before he could.

Prompt: Nikolai got tipsy so Zoya brought him to his chambers. They talk then and some truths had been said.


	2. Kiss to Shut up

Husband or not, king or no, Zoya will certainly, absolutely, most definitely, freaking murder him. Nikolai may be the king of Ravka but Zoya is the queen of storms, and Ravka. And, his heart. That will seized its beating when she finally finds him.

To Nikolai's defense, it was a good idea at that time. Besides, he always said that anything that's worth doing starts as a bad idea! Well, this started as one and ended as one, unfortunately for him.

There's no way to hide, she'll arrive at any moment now. Nikolai attempted to get himself under control. He was a privateer, a king and previously a monster, he'll take this with the unflinching stand of a man in his caliber.

Nikolai heard her light footsteps near the door and he automatically straighten his back and shoulders. The doorknob started to twist open so he lifted his chin up in preparation. When the door finally opened and Zoya appeared, Nikolai plastered his most brilliant smile towards his wife.

Though she was barefoot, still has a bedhead and just in his nightshirt, his wife was devastatingly gorgeous. He would have made a charming quip about her appearance but now was not the time. Nikolai had enough of his reckless plans for this morning and he would like to prolong his life if it is all possible. So he kept his quiet and just brighten his smile some more.

Zoya's face was erased of all emotions when she noticed what happened. Her striking blue eyes narrowed the more she roamed them around the kitchen. To say that it was a disaster is an understatement. Half formed doughs covered the walls and countertops, while dripping sacks of flower littered the floor. Sugar, cinnamon, vanilla and the other ingredients were bubbling in the sink and the burnt smell of something in the oven was permeating the air. Oh, did he mention that chocolate goo was splattered on the sealing as well?

Nikolai knew he looked ridiculous yet still handsome in a now brown apron and with a mix of everything covering him from head to toe. He relinquish his hold on the spatula currently stuck in the pot of sticky substance he created to argue his case. Good thing he was able to gather enough of his wits to at least try to talk his way out of this predicament. So Nikolai Lantsov king of Ravka, privateer Sturmhond, former monster and survivor of two wars, the too clever fox and husband to one of the most powerful Grisha who ever lived, babbled.

His arms flailed while his mouth ran a mile a minute. "You know Nazyalensky, this wasn't supposed to happen. I was just trying to make you something for our anniversary and it was a surprise so I didn't tell you... Cooking is not in my wide area of expertise I'll admit that much... But I didn't have much time so I decided to just wing it. Because how bad could it be?" when he saw his wife's icy glare, Nikolai hasten to add. "I know, I know. Very, very bad apparently. But everything was going fine until it all exploded when I used my new inventions to hopefully make the process faster and th-"

Nikolai didn't finish his nonsensical explanation because Zoya was in front of him in an instant, rapping her arms around his neck and firmly kissing him. His arms instinctively latch on to her smaller frame and his head angled to deepen their kiss. Nikolai didn't know how long they stayed kissing, he promptly lost himself in Zoya and he wouldn't be bothered to notice anything around him if anyone tried.

To his dismay, his wife broke away eventually. Zoya tossed her hair on her shoulder as she strides to the door. "I'll tell the servants not to come here for the rest of the day, you should be finish cleaning by then."

Now that Zoya made her mind not to kill him, Nikolai felt it safe to speak his mind. "Does that mean I'm forgiven my darling wife?" Nikolai asked with his usual teasing smirk.

"Come to our chambers and I'll tell you dearest husband." Zoya said with the most seductive voice she could muster.

And Nikolai, couldn't clean fast enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just wrote itself. What do you think?


	3. Sparring

"This is all your fault Nikolai!" Zoya snarled. She would have looked properly threatening if only she wasn't sprawled on the ground gracelessly, and tenderly holding her ankle.

"And I'm taking full responsibility for it Nazyalensky." Nikolai said, crouching down beside her. He winced when he saw the state of her foot. It was bent on an unnatural angle and had already swollen. Any other girl will be howling in agony by now, but not Zoya.

"Just send for a healer so we can get this over with." she snapped, but she didn't manage to hide her paned grimmest from him.

Seeing her in any pane always sends a twinge straight through Nikolai's heart. Since it was partly his fault, he said. "Why leave you here alone when I can get you there faster." he tried to reason with her.

Zoya stopped inspecting her foot to stare at him like he was an idiot. "You're really asking me that? You know there are still rumors about us."

Oh, he knows, but right now, Nikolai just doesn't care about them. They can whisper and gossip all they want, he'll just have to counter it with his abundant charm and sparkling personality. To him, Zoya is more important than all of them combine and then some. It was rare that he has the power to help her, and now that the chance had presented itself, he wouldn't waste it.

But he knew better than to say this to his fierce general's face so he shrugged disinterestedly and teased her instead. "So? You never cared before Zoya. Could it be that my devastating good looks and delightful personality had finally worn down your hard cold defenses?"

Her stony gaze landed on him, but before she could utter a word, Nikolai leaned over and swiftly gathered her in his arms. Zoya's head leveled with his chest and the smell of wild flowers invaded his nostrils. This little session has really gotten out of control.

*flashback*

Nikolai was just minding his own business and enjoying the few moments of solitude he allowed for himself when he walked in on Zoya training by her lonesome. She was using twin sabers and it looks like she's channeling her lightning through them. Nikolai was amazed to witness what she'd learn in just a short amount of time. She truly became more powerful now.

Rows and rows of large trees didn't stand a chance with her lightning. Before, the wind bows to Zoya like a knight to his queen. But now, it seem to Nikolai that Zoya herself became the wind she commanded. She's stronger, fiercer and, much more unattainable to him.

Nikolai's attention shifted to Zoya's new amplifiers, and Sankt Juris' words echoed in his mind.

'You will see in time. When he grows old and you only grow more powerful.'

Now, wasn't that a depressing thought. But before he could dwell on it, he heard Zoya asked. "Do you need something?"

She was suddenly standing before him with her stance loosen, a pink hue dusting her cheeks and a few stray strands of raven hair are covering her beautiful face. Nikolai's fingers itch to tuck them behind her ear but he suppress it by clasping his hands smartly on his back. "Just parading my pretty face in the palace general." he replied with a wink.

Zoya just rolled her eyes at this. So he said, "How about a spar Nazyalensky?"

"You never asked to spar with me before." she replied, looking at him suspiciously.

And she was right. But not today. Talking with her and just being himself without their masks as the general and the king made him reckless. Sure, there was that little fact that he wanted to dispel Sankt Juris' words from his mind. But that was better left unsaid.

"My, my, my, does your ruthless heart fills with fear to know that you're facing a formidable opponent Zoya? Or is it just my distracting good looks." he deflected her suspicion with his teasing.

Zoya flipped her hair. "Between are looks, mine is the more distracting Nikolai." She said matter of fact.

And she was right about that. But of course, he won’t admit it, other things might slip out and Nikolai couldn’t afford that. Nikolai knew that Zoya didn't by his crap in the least and he is grateful to her for not forcing the issue.

After that exchange, she turned and dropdown to her fighting stance. Nikolai chose his sword as his weapon. He spread his feet and steadied his grip then, they sparred. It was a series of blows in quick succession in Zoya's part and Nikolai defending as best as he could. He dodged a few strikes, parried others and attack when he saw she was open.

Nikolai didn't know how long their bout lasted, he forgot everything. All he knew was Zoya, their swords and that he's having fun. He might be pushing it, spending time with her when his bride to be is in the palace but he couldn't bring himself to end it. This is just another stolen moment that Nikolai will tuck in his heart and that will plague him in his dreams.

She was nimble but Nikolai was the superior swordsman. His stronger strokes pushed her back, and when he feigned a strike to her side, she twisted to avoid it. Or, Zoya tried to at least.

Nikolai had manage to force her to backtrack into the unkempt part of the forest. A random tree root from the once that Zoya practiced on earlier got caught on her foot when she tried to evade Nikolai's attack. It caused her to land unfavorably, twisting her ankle in result.

*end of flashback*

"Put. me. Down." she hissed, swatting him on the shoulder and her deep blue eyes flashed silver at him warningly.

Nikolai just ignored this and tighten his hold. "Hold still Nazyalensky, the less troublesome you are, the faster we go. If we're lucky, only a few servants will see us." he told her casually, as he expertly maneuver his way to the infirmary.

"We wouldn't be in this situation if you only did what I've said." Zoya griped as she managed to cross her arms and huffed out an irritated breath at his direction.

It tickled Nikolai's neck and sent a spark of awareness through him. This distracted him so much so that it made him stumble in an otherwise smooth path.

‘Damn!’

"Am I too much for you to handle your highness?" he heard Zoya said and when Nikolai flick his glance at her, he saw that she was smirking up at him.

Seeing that usual glow of challenge in her eyes, the familiar curl of her lips and the haughty lift of the chin that is undeniably Zoya caused a flood of warmth in Nikolai. It encompass his heart, shot through his head and spread to his whole body. Although he's currently annoyed at her, a genuine smile still broke out on his handsome face.

"You did that on purpose and you know It." he returned lightly.

"I don't know what you mean your highness." she said, a playful grin now dancing on her lips.

"Be careful Nazyalensky, or I might accidentally drop you in there." Nikolai nodded to the lake nearby. They had almost reach the Little Palace and a part of Nikolai wished that he could prolong this moment with her.

Because to Nikolai, she is whom he should be with. The strong willed woman who stayed by his side and urge him to keep on marching. The one that rebuilt Ravka with him and love this country as much as he loves it.

When she encircle his neck in her arms and growled, "I'd drag you down with me Lantsov." Nikolai just laughed.

It's the first real one he let-out since they've returned and it's just fitting that it was Zoya who force it out of him. Because this woman had seen him at his best and at his worst without batting an eye. And in this struggling country, with war and invasion threatening them at the borders, Nikolai felt that he might have fallen a little bit in love with her.

Prompt: Nikolai helps Zoya to train using a sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that fighting with weapons is a weakness of Zoya so I figured, why couldn’t Nikolai train her?


	4. Proposals

I

The first time Nikolai asked Zoya to marry him, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing. There were many things happening at the same time and problems surrounded them on all sides. So, what was his heart's desire compared to the fate of Ravka? Nikolai understood her decision back then. But Nikolai couldn't walk down the altar without at least trying. Though it had prick his pride at that time, he ultimately couldn't blame her for saying no.

Nikolai was restless. He's going to announce his betrothal to princess Ehri to night and yet... And yet, he couldn't stop thinking about Zoya.

Her extraordinary face, her smell, her scars. Usually, Zoya only haunted him in his dreams. But as the date of his wedding approached, the more he thought of her. Just, her.

Nikolai paced back and forth in the throne room with a bottle of whisky in his hand. Doubt grips his heart and it wouldn't let go. Nikolai isn't sure if he even wants it to.

"Getting cold feet?" a voice from behind him asked.

Nikolai stilled. Because of course, she'll check on him. This was her plan after all. His shoulders slumped, Nikolai didn't have the strength to put up a mask right now.

"Yes." he answered, turning so he could face her.

Zoya stepped forward and pluck the whisky bottle from his hand. She uncapped it and took a small sip. "I understand Nikolai." she told him, making eye contact.

And looking at her, somehow... Somehow, Nikolai knew that Zoya really does. But with that came an idea and a bit of hope. A stupid thought, something reckless and utterly irresponsible. But he'll be damned before he let this go.

So Nikolai dared to ask, "Zoya, will you marry me?"

He knows that it's out of the blue but it isn't baseless. Nikolai can't stop thinking of her, so she might as well stay alongside him officially. There's a spark between them, something that he couldn't name. Because if he did, he'll lose track of everything. And that, is so much unlike Nikolai.

Zoya's eyes harden into gems as she answers him. "No."

Then she turned and made her way to the door, leaving Nikolai just standing there. Zoya left without hesitation, she didn't even give him a chance to explain or convince her. Nikolai run his fingers through his hair and sighed. Just like that. With just one word, she brought him to focus.

Nikolai almost feels silly for doubting his decision to marry and he nearly took back his earlier words. But not quite... The only thing Nikolai was certain right now is the stinging pang in his chest.

"Damn it, I truly need that whisky now."

II

The second time, he was happy. Pure and simple. But to his dismay, it still didn't went well.

They finally did it. Vanquish the Darkling once and for all, restore Ravka's finances, secure the throne and their borders without him needing to marry. Nikolai was elated, ecstatic even. So was it really that shocking that he blurted out what's on his mind without thinking?

They were still in the midst of the battlefield, with war and blood surrounding them on all sides. But Nikolai feels he shouldn't waist this opportunity. Life is too short after all.

So with blood, grime and soot covering him, he turned to the general beside him. She was filthy, injured and exhausted but she's still the most beautiful woman Nikolai had ever seen. Zoya stayed by his side and stood firm when the others faltered. So isn't it natural that he wanted her as his wife?

Nikolai shouted over the chaos, "Marry me Nazyalensky!"

He wants her to say yes, Nikolai realized. He wants to rule Ravka beside her. A strong queen and a smart king will only result in a prosperous kingdom in his opinion. They have chemistry and understanding, what more does she require?

Zoya didn't even spare him a glance. She swept a horde of enemy soldiers like someone sweeps garbage. "I refuse Nikolai." and just like that, his marriage proposal got swept with them.

When he opened his mouth to argue, she snapped. "Don't get distracted, we're not safe yet!"

So he kept silent, for now. He managed to overcome problems that most thought were impossible, but just improbable for him. Zoya may be difficult but she'll say yes, eventually. They have time.

III

The third time was kind of stupid, he'll admit that much. He only got a sharp smack on the head for his troubles.

"What's this?" Zoya waved something in front of his face.

"Why, it's a piece of paper Nazyalensky. An expensive one I might add." Nikolai said, stippling his fingers and placing them below his chin.

Her eyes flashed. "Don't play games with me Lantsov."

"I'm hurt Nazyalensky." Nikolai clutch a hand on his heart in mock offence.

"I'll really hurt you if you don't stop this nonsense!" she growled.

Nikolai huffed out a bitter laugh. "I've proposed to you three times now. And you still think I'm not serious? Being dumb is not a good look on you Zoya."

Zoya's nostrils flared. A gust of wind whirled in Nikolai's study, knocking down inkwells and snuffing candles left and right. Another gust of wind delivered a sharp smack on the back of Nikolai's head.

He yelped in surprise at this. And as he rubbed the sore spot, Zoya crumpled the paper in her hand and promptly hurled it into the fireplace. She made to walk away but when she reached the door, she turned back and cross her arms.

"Nothing will come of this Nikolai. Find a nice, rich girl and ask her to be your wife."

"I don't think that will save Ravka Zoya." said Nikolai, staring straight in her eyes.

"Well, think again." With that, she left.

Nikolai let-out a heavy sigh and he rose to tidy-up his office. "My ruthless Zoya, sometimes I wish you weren’t so practical."

Because she was right. A nice princess to present at court will help his position greatly. A wealthy one is even better. But, he only wants one woman and she doesn't have all of those qualities. What she has, who she is, was better than all of those imaginary woman combined.

She's strong, intelligent and practical. Brave and loyal too. Zoya is unshakable as a rock, fierce like the wind and her beauty outshines the brightest of stars. And Nikolai, can't get enough of her.

His eyes strayed to the fire burning brightly and he scowled. 'I have to break her nasty hobbit of throwing important things in the fire.' he thought to himself. But even though she got rid of his letter, Nikolai knows its contents like the back of his hand. His hand that he wished one day, will hold hers.

To Zoya Nazyalensky, General of the second army.

From Nikolai Lantsov, King of Ravka.

Dear Zoya Nazyalensky.

I, Nikolai Lantsov, King of Ravka formally declare my intentions to one Zoya Nazyalensky. In this letter, I ask if you will consider being my Queen.

It goes with a lot of gifts of course. The position entails twenty silk skirts: five blue, three red, four silver, one gold, three green, two pink, one ivory and one lilac.

Jewels: one pair of emerald earrings, a collection of sapphire jewels especially designed for the Queen, a ruby necklace, rare purl bracelets, amethysts, garnets and opals. Land, properties and riches are naturally given. The King will also provide whatever the future queen wishes.

An immediate reply is advised.

From Nikolai Lantsov, King of Ravka.

To Zoya Nazyalensky, General of the second army.

IV

The fourth time, well...

"What the hell are you doing Nikolai? Stand up, right. Now." Zoya hissed angrily. Zoya looked left and right to see all of their acquaintance’s eyes are on the two of them so she just settled in giving Nikolai the hardest glare she could muster.

"Not until you give me a true answer Zoya." Nikolai is currently kneeling on one knee in the middle of the ballroom at the Little Palace.

"I think, the king has knock his head into something on his way here." David observed, unusually paying attention in his surroundings.

"I agree, she looks like she dearly wants to strangle him." Jesper commented.

"Hush. I want to hear every word so be quiet!" Nina snapped, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"But..." Tolya tried.

"Shut. Up." Genya, Tamar, Nadia and even Alina reproached.

Ravka hosted a solstice’s ball to prove to the world that they are strong and recovering. It was a lavish affair, nothing has been spared. The effort was a success of course so Genya arranged an after party for all their friends old and new. They are in the midst of dancing when Nikolai suddenly knelt in front of Zoya and proposed. He produced a shining silver ring with a big blue diamond on its center and presented it to Zoya.

"I already said no, three times. Get that through your head Lantsov." Zoya said sharply.

She forgo her blue kefta to night for a flowing silver silk gown that reached the floor. It was peppered with sparkling sapphires all around and it goes perfectly with her eyes. Most of her glossy hair was twisted into an intricate coiffure at the back of her head and it was being held by a ruby pin shaped like a rose. Some of her locks was stylishly curled and placed on the side of her neck. A big ruby necklace was encircling around her slender throat, her bracelets and earrings match what's in her lushes’ hair as well. She wore glass slippers to complete her outfit.

Nikolai knew that Zoya was about to stride away from him and possibly out of his life. The thought terrified Nikolai so much so that he did a very, very stupid thing. He, goaded her. “What, are you going to walk away? Again? That leaves me to wonder, are you afraid General?"

Nikolai meanwhile was wearing a crisp navy-blue suit with a gold necktie and polished black boots. Nikolai was almost desperate now, he tried and tried and tried but Zoya still said no. Loathe was he to admit it, he's not getting any younger and Ravka needs an heir. Besides, being dismissed once pricks, twice was disheartening, and thrice was crushing. But the forth... The forth, he fervently hopes that this is the one when Zoya will finally say yes.

Zoya has worn down his pride and blue it far, far away where Nikolai couldn't reach it. He has nothing more to give her, Nikolai only has himself to offer. This will be his last proposal. A man could only handle so much rejection after all.

"Ooohh..." Their small crowd reacted.

"Me, afraid of, you? Don't make me laugh." Zoya placed her hands on her hips while her lips curled to mock him.

"I'm not trying to. Not right now, at least. I'm asking you to marry me Zoya." Nikolai said, his heart in his eyes for once.

He already tried everything with her. Desperation didn't work, happily blurting it out got him nowhere and formality burned him. Surely, surely honesty would work? He's offering himself to her in front of all of these people for saints' sake!

When Alina had rejected him years ago, it had stung. It pricked his pride and the part of him expecting her to say yes just because he's a prince. But Zoya, his ruthless Zoya decimated his so called pride without mercy. Yet here he was, still begging for her attention. She'd turn him down thrice but still he hopes.

"I don't see why you keep insisting this Nikolai." Zoya told him coldly.

But Nikolai was observant. He saw the slightest tremble on her lips when she spoke and the waver in her eyes. Maybe it's the reason why she always walked away from him when he asks. Besides, she never said she didn't... Well, he'll just have to be the one who plunge in first.

"If I tell you I'm in love with you Zoya, will that make a difference?" Nikolai pushed.

The crowd gasped but Nikolai didn't pay them any mind. The only person that matters is standing before him. Eyes widen and lips slightly parted. If he's being honest to night, he'll go all out. Zoya deserves that much.

He never approached from this angle before. But it's true, he'd fallen in love with her. Zoya's ruthlessness, sour tongue and her spiteful heart. All of those qualities made her Zoya, the strong willed woman he loves. She knows what she wants and is not afraid to get it. She has her opinions and will say it when or where she pleased. And beneath all of the, practicality, and courage is a bit of kindness and a lot of desire to protect those around her.

"Love is not everything your highness. A crown is all well and good but I was no longer that little girl who want such things. You can have me as your general or you won't have me at all."

"Ravka doesn't need a ruler in name only. She needs a defender, someone who loves her and truly desire the country's prosperity." Nikolai seized Zoya's delicate hand in his and he gazed upwards to meet hers. "I believe you can be both. You're already a queen Zoya, I just want you to be mine."

Nikolai knew he didn't imagine what they had in the Fold. There's something between them, he just needs Zoya to acknowledge it too. They know each other like no one else does. He's greatest fear is to lose her and she never wants to be helpless again. She cares so much and he thinks he can fix Ravka.

"I'm no one else's Nikolai, I don't need a man in my life to make me strong." That struck Nikolai. For its true, Zoya doesn't need him, it's the other way around. His hazel eyes full of love and hope started to dim and he forced his hand to loosen its hold on her. But to his amazement, Zoya turned her hand in his and clasped it tight. "But I guess, you're the exception."

Nikolai tugged Zoya toward him and she willingly eased herself in his arms like she had done when they were still fanning the roomers. But now, they were pretending no longer. It will be a marriage founded with trust and respect, a union without lies. And they will make it work. Because they are Zoya and Nikolai. The king and his general and that was all they needed.

Prompt: The three times that Nikolai proposed to Zoya, and the onetime she said yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I just want to read it in canon.


	5. Have You Ever

‘Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over’

‘Knowing there's so much more to say’

‘Suddenly the moment's gone’

‘And all your dreams are upside down’

‘And you just wanna change the way the world goes round’

Zoya squinted at the star patterns in her canopy. She was lying in bed for hours but she still couldn't fall asleep. She is physically and emotionally drained yet, her mind just wouldn't let her rest.

The thought of Nikolai marrying princess Ehri has latch itself in her brain and refuses to leave. She felt a pang of disappointment? Sadness? Or hurt, Zoya didn't know. But what she did know, is that she does not have the time to find out.

Nikolai has to wed, Ravka needs an heir. The riches Ehri could provide them is an asset that they couldn't afford to sneeze at. And making her the queen means Ravka will have a possible ally in the Shu or a bargaining chip if all goes south. She is popular as well and is capable to sway the people should the need arise. It's all the reasons she was Zoya's first candidate after all.

Zoya turned on her stomach and breathe in the familiar sent of her pillow. She closed her eyes and tried to blank her mind to no avail. The thought of Nikolai still persisted, like an annoying fly you couldn't get rid of.

The what ifs invaded Zoya again like a storm on a backwater village. It would happen to her in inconvenient times such as this one. What if she had spoken up? If she points out the danger of having a foreign queen.

She's not even certain of what Nikolai truly thinks of her. If someone who embodies light, warmth and hope would dame to look at her. A person that grew up in storm and darkness. A woman filled with vengeance and spite.

Zoya rolled to her side now, her thick long hair curtains her face. Yes, though it was galling, Zoya admits that she wanted to try before. To see if the golden king Nikolai will turn his pretty little head in a witch's direction. To know if he could love someone like her, a ruthless commoner.

But she understood that it could never be. The moment Nikolai had declare his intentions towards Ehri sealed it. Zoya knew that this will happen. That she would have to give him away eventually.

That time had indeed come and she managed to stand her ground through it. Zoya is a general and she'll continue to be one. She refuse to risk Ravka's fate, just for her feelings. Nikolai isn't hers to keep anyway.

‘Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody’

‘Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry’

‘Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby’

‘Have you ever felt your heart was breaking’

‘Lookin down the road you should be taking’

‘I should know, cause I loved and lost the day I let you go’

Zoya was on her back now, eying her dressing robe. She resolved to hold her peace. The world has always moved on despite her grief anyway. Why should this be different?

‘Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together’

‘Back in your arms where I belong’

‘Now I've finally realized it was forever that I've found’

‘I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round’

Nikolai has doubts before but this one in particular, bothers him the most. It was a compromise yes, but the pros are greater than the cons. Or so Zoya had said. Ah, Zoya Nazyalensky.

So much has happened in such little time. To him, to Zoya, between them and of course, Ravka. As king, he made a decision that benefited his beloved country the most.

But Nikolai couldn't deny the utter wrongness that he felt as soon as the poisoned words left his mouth. It took every fortitude he had, not to glance in Zoya's direction. But what did he expect to see there. Zoya's pleading eyes meeting his?

Pleading what? The Zoya Nazyalensky he knew never ever beg for anything. People trip over their feet to please her. It was a fact and Nikolai is well aware of it.

Nikolai shook his head and tosses another rock in the lake. It was almost funny, this was the same place where he spoke to Alina all those years ago. She was thinking of another man then. But now, Nikolai doesn't have the slightest idea if Zoya even thinks about him at all.

He came here to escape his chambers. The memories suffocates him, churns his stomach and squeezed his heart until he could bare it no longer. He always resisted an arrange marriage because he wish to be with a woman he at least cares about. And yet, he was the one who plunge in head first in this betrothal. Zoya didn't even need to hound him, Nikolai did it all on his own.

Another rock was tossed. Zoya, again. Nikolai sees her everywhere, especially in his chambers. Her silhouette lit by the lamp on his bedside, her brisk manner and the precious moments he has her all for himself.

Nikolai had just announce his engagement to princess Ehri. Yet, It was Zoya who he couldn't stop thinking about. He already miss his talks with her. She's the first person Nikolai sees when he wakes and the last when he falls asleep. Zoya even follows him in his dreams.

Nikolai knows that something has shifted between them in the Fold. Zoya had open up to him and he wants to know more. To discover everything about her, memorize every nook and cranny that is Zoya Nazyalensky.

‘Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody’

‘Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry’

‘Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby’

‘Have you ever felt your heart was breaking’

‘Lookin down the road you should be taking’

‘I should know, cause I loved and lost the day I let you go’

That moment in the Fold still lingers in Nikolai's mind. When he was cupping Zoya's cheek and she turned her lovely face in his palm. Her eyes were closed and he was holding her hand. She was about to say something to him back then.

'Nikolai-'

The urge to ask her what she's about to say was overwhelming. But when he voiced his intention to marry another, Nikolai couldn't help but think that he had lost his chance to find out. Nikolai's newly found love slip through his fingers before he could act on it.

‘I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels’

I wonder, what is the probability of you reciprocating what I feel for you. Nikolai?

‘To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see’

I had you by my side all this time Zoya. I was an idiot to just realize I love you only when I have to let you go.

‘Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow’

It was always you who believes in hope Nikolai. Should I gamble, just this once?

‘Wishing I could change the way the world goes round’

If only I could change things. I know you'll make an amazing queen my ruthless Zoya. Do I even have the right to call you mine?

‘Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody’

‘Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)’

‘Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby’

‘Have you ever felt your heart was breaking’

‘Lookin down the road you should be taking’

‘I should know, (I should know) cause I loved and lost the day I let’

‘Yes I loved and lost the day I let’

‘Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go’

Prompt: A fic based on the song Have You Ever by S Club 7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song reminds me of Zoya and Nikolai at the end of King of Scars.  
> I dunno, I think they’re out of character in this one.


	6. Nightmare

Nikolai woke to the strong metallic stench of blood surrounding him. His back hurts like hell and he can't feel his fingers. He was on his stomach and face down on the ground so he tried to sit up. His shaking limbs wouldn't seem to hold him, but he was Nikolai Lantsov so he still managed it. His face and clothes are wet with something so he assumed he's covered in his own blood.

It was dark wherever he is so Nikolai brush his hands around him to feel for some kind of support or something. There's a persistent buzzing on the back of his head but he couldn't recall it at the moment. It was like he lost his memories of the last days so he has no idea where and why he's here. He can't even remember if he brought someone with him.

He's the king of Ravka, so surely he had. Besides, there's someone who will scold him for being reckless and that person wouldn't let him come alone. Nikolai is just not sure whom.

All of this thinking caused his head to throb painfully so Nikolai just focused on exploring. His hands encounter straws and boxes. He's not that strong yet so Nikolai grabbed the wall to support him as he slowly made his way to the cluster of boxes to rest his aching back. All the while, the metallic smell never left him.

While he was stumbling in the dark, his foot connected to a small thing on the ground. Nikolai's curiosity got the better of him so he crouch down to pick it up. It was a shining black fetter made of scales. A very, very familiar piece of jewelry.

Nikolai's heartbeat raised and an excruciating pane exploded behind his eyelids. He fell on his knees and he clutch his head in his hand while he has Zoya's bracelet in the other.

Even through his pane, her name rang out loud and clear. Zoya wouldn't just leave this here, so where is she?

"Zoya?" he managed to croak.

Nikolai's Braine feels like it's going to split in two but still he shouted. "Zoya! Where are you? Are you hurt? Answer me or give me a sign if you can't!"

Nikolai waited but there was no response. That worried him so he crawled to search for her, king's pride be damned. Zoya is strong and practical, she would answer if she can. So that just means, she can't. Nikolai didn't know which he prefer. Especially now that he still couldn't remember a damn thing.

He was trying to come back on his earlier spot when he heard it. "You've finally remembered your general I see. Took you a while, don't you think?" the smooth voice cut through Nikolai's panic like a glass through skin.

"I don't exactly feel like the picture of good health right now and I believe that you are responsible somehow Darkling." Nikolai replied, standing on shaky legs. Zoya wouldn't forgive him if she caught him kneeling in front of the Darkling.

The lean figure stepped out of the darkness, amusement glinting in his gray eyes. "Look at you, running your royal mouth. Pretending, like you got everything under control. Always pretending."

Nikolai let the Darkling's words enter his right ear and come out the other. He doesn't have the time to deal with him right now, he needs to find Zoya. "Well, I would say its fun chatting with you but we both know I don't mean it. So if you'll excuse me, I need to find my general."

Zoya will yell at him for this, but Nikolai still did it. He turned his back on the Darkling, the most dangerous man he knew. And promptly tripped. On a wet and slippery piece of cloth.

A kefta. Zoya's kefta... Saturated with blood.

"No no no!" Nikolai cried out in absolute horror.

Blinding light suddenly surrounded Nikolai and then, he finally saw it. Zoya's mangled body, oozing with her red red blood. Her clothes were torn, her beautiful face was filled with hideous scratches, and her once captivating eyes were clawed out. A silent scream was frozen on her crimson lips that might have been Nikolai’s name.

Nikolai felt like a rug was swept under his feet and his whole being was filled with utter shock. The pane followed and then, he could take it no longer. His usually steady legs buckled and Nikolai fell on his knees for the second time. And when he was about to reach for her, he saw his fingers. His blacken fingers was splattered in red. The wet spots on his face and clothes are Zoya's blood. He did this to her... Nikolai killed Zoya. The monster is him, and he is the monster.

He screamed.

*crack*

Nikolai was startled awake by the stinging sensation on his left cheek. When his eyes flew open, the first thing he saw was Zoya's scowling visage. She looked annoyed and her right palm was raised, as if preparing to slap him again. Nikolai has never woke to a more beautiful sight.

"Oh, you're awake. I was looking forward to slap you senseless but..." she shrugged and flip her hair over her shoulder.

Nikolai's voice was horse but he still said, "Are you certain? Or is it just another excuse to touch my handsome face Nazyalensky."

An eye role was the only response he got from her. Zoya stood and made her way to her bedroll. They were still in the abandoned warehouse and tomorrow, he, Zoya and Yuri will travel to Os Alta.

His eyes strayed to their other companion, and he didn't feel reassured. If anything, he became more on edge. Nikolai was certain he wouldn't be able to fall asleep after that horrible nightmare so he sat up fully and resolve to watch over the monk. The sliver of moonlight provided a little illumination and Nikolai saw that the blackening of his fingers reseeded. They are just thin lines now, almost invisible. But it was still there.

It flashed crimson for a moment, so Nikolai squeezed his eyes shut to block the images. He tried to calm down, to slow his heartbeat and relaxed his breathing. He was just getting the rhythm right when he felt someone drop down beside him. It was Zoya, she brought her bedroll over and had now curled on her side to sleep.

"In case you forgot your highness, we are under cover and does not wish anyone to know our location. So I suggest you keep quiet and do take the first watch."

Some of the tension in Nikolai ebbed away with Zoya's words. Harsh though they were, it comforted him. For Zoya was not a soft, sweet and reassuring kind of woman. She was of grisha steal, all cold and sharp edges. A constant unwavering presence beside him and Nikolai couldn't wish for more. He felt content and safe with Zoya by his side.

Prompt: Nikolai has a nightmare and Zoya comforts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good? Bad? Please tell me!


	7. The Dream

Nikolai is awaken by the featherlike touch on his forehead and the sudden warmth that surrounds him. The familiar cent of wildflowers reaches his nostrils and he blinks away the sleep from his eyes just in time to see Zoya straighten up. She had just finish putting a blanket to cover him. They are in the war room in the Little Palace and Nikolai fell asleep when he's supposed to be doing paperwork.

"Kiss me Nazyalensky." Nikolai suddenly blurts, his mouth running off without his permission.

It seems like he doesn't have full control of his faculties yet. Because he wouldn't just ask Zoya Nazyalensky, general of the second army and one of the most powerful grisha that question if he has. He like his body parts where they are, thank you very much!

But seeing Zoya with just her thin white robe and in her slippers caused Nikolai's mind to shut down. The cloth around her is not doing a great job of hiding what's underneath and it's driving him crazy! Just the glimpse of her bear shoulder sends heat to places better left alone, especially now in his current predicament.

Zoya's hair is free of bindings and it cascades perfectly on her scarred back like a waterfall of ink on paper. Nikolai envies the aqua-marine satin nightgown hugging her small frame like a clingy lover would. Nikolai's not expecting anyone to stumble on him burning the midnight oil in the war room, most certainly not Zoya.

Zoya blinks, the surprise of waking Nikolai is quickly replace with slight annoyance. "Come again?"

Nikolai decides to risk it, so he pushes. "It's officially my birthday Nazyalensky. Would you bestow me this gift?" he winks.

Zoya, is predictably unimpressed. Her startling blue eyes lands on the desk. "If you're tired, you should go to bed Nikolai." she pretends like his words did not reach her ears.

"Not until you give me a kiss." he wines playfully.

Zoya is looking at him like he is ten kinds of stupid right now but is he hallucinating or, is that a dust of pink on her cheeks? He shakes his head to clear his mind, he needs all of his wits for this negotiation.

“I don’t appreciate your jokes right now Nikolai.” Zoya replies looking down, and not meeting his eyes.

“I may joke a lot of things, but not this. Never, this, Zoya Nazyalensky.”

“You’re being ridiculous Nikolai!”

Nikolai begs to differ. It is his birthday after all. So doesn't that mean he can wish for anything and the person closest to him would try their hardest to grant whatever it is he'd wish for? He is a king for Saints' sake.

“I’m being perfectly reasonable by patiently asking you. Rather discreetly, I might add.”

"Too much paperwork has muddled your brain Your Highness." Zoya concludes after a beat. She crosses her arms to salvage what’s left of her composure. Zoya then, turn her nose up in the air and effectively dismissing his earlier words.

Nikolai let-out a sigh. It very well might someday, but not to night. The fierce woman before him might achieve that first if she keeps this up. So Nikolai leans back and raises his eyebrow at her. "It's that. Or, you're just afraid Zoya. Because if you start, you might lose yourself and not want to stop. I'm pretty irresistible after all."

"You can say that about my urge to strangle you too, you know." Zoya replies scowling at him.

"Ah, but you love me too much to do that." Nikolai counters with a dimpled smile just for her.

A beat later and she sighs. "I'm prettier and more irresistible than you Nikolai so what's your point?" Zoya asks him drily. Zoya's arms are no longer crossed though and her stance becomes officially lax.

Definitely more than she’ll ever know. But he dared not say that to her face so, "We beautiful people should stick together?" Nikolai quips, puckering his lips at her direction.

Zoya rolls her eyes at this but she leans forward over the table all the same.

Nikolai's heartbeat quickens as he grasps both of her delicate hands in his. He tilt his face upwards to meet her halfway. He hears Zoya whisper, "Happy birthday Nikolai." as she closes the distance between them for his much awaited kiss. When there's but a breath between them...

*bang*

Nikolai is startled awake by the sound of a hand slamming heavily on the table he's currently sleeping on. Whoever it is ruin the nice dream he's having. He open his eyes to snap at the person but is shocked into speechlessness instead.

For there she is, standing before him is the object of his dreams herself, Zoya Nazyalensky. Who's just waring a thin white robe, an aqua-marine satin nightgown with her hair a waterfall of ink behind her. She is giving him a disapproving glare that is blistering in its intensity. She scolds him and says, "This is not your chambers Your Highness. You should go to bed if you're tired. For someone that thinks of himself as a smart man, you’re being an idiot right now."

To say that Nikolai is surprise is an understatement. Zoya is wearing the exact same clothes in his dream. She had almost said the same words though, admittedly with more venom than a while ago. Her sour tongue is at work here so Nikolai is fairly certain that he's awake now.

He flick a glance at his pocket watch and sees that the small hand is pointing at twelve already. He grins, hope filling him. "Would you kiss me for my birthday Zoya?" he asks pouring all of his charm in this one request.

It's his birthday after all and he'll grab the chance to make his dream a reality. Nothing is impossible to him, only improbable. Besides, anything that's worth doing starts as a bad idea, he always say.

Kissing Zoya might be a bad idea, but definitely worth it! If he bleeds as the result, well... He's wearing a nice shirt so it's covered.

Prompt: Nikolai dreams about Zoya.

Prompt: Nikolai asks Zoya to kiss him for his birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit all over the place but I fixed it I think?


	8. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealous Nikolai

A/N: I’m not so sure about this but I decided to post it anyway.

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters.

It started as a good night. They were hosting a simple yet elegant ball to celebrate Ravka's victory over the Darkling and the Fjerdans. Genya handled all the details well. She only invited the people who helped them in their cause. Their old people, Kaz Brekker's group and some of their new friends. Nikolai had a small portion of the Grand Palace closed just for the event.

Exquisite foods of all kinds and places filled the neatly arranged long tables, coupled with the different varieties of drinks and desserts. The dancefloor was polished into perfection and an orchestra was playing pleasing music discreetly on the side. Honeysuckle and Gardenias perfumed the air and grand chandeliers illuminated the whole room.

Nikolai was happily circling the crowd, talking to guests and offering a complement or two. He was wearing a golden suit with a white undershirt and a deep blue necktie that match his shiny shoes. The wine in his glass needed refilling so he went to the refreshments to do just that. Nikolai was about to continue his rounds when he heard it.

"You and Zoya as friends huh. Who would have thought?" Alina Starkof stated. She is wearing a simple gold dress that has Perl patterns on the hem.

Genya replied, "Certainly not me. If you told me that three years ago, I would think that you've lost your mind." The redhead was in an emerald green gown, with amber beads peppering its entirety. The two of them were seated on the table nearest the refreshments area.

Nikolai was not one to listen to gossip. But given that Genya and Alina are talking about Zoya, he just couldn't help himself. There are a lot of things still left unsaid between them. And he intends to resolve that sooner, rather than later.

He is afraid that if he plucks the courage to say it in her face, she will never speak to him again. So for now, he will treasure every information he could find about her. His mind made-up, he stepped into the shadow of a nearby alcove to listen to the pair's conversation.

"I never thought I'll say this, but she's not that bad."

"Genya, she broke two of my ribs." Alina said drily.

Nikolai winced at that. His general is many things, but gentle was not one of them.

"Okay okay, maybe she's that bad. But she's less likely to do it again, now that you're somewhat friends." Genya leapt into Zoya's defense.

"I've forgiven her for that anyway." Alina placated her friend.

"But?" Genya asked.

"But nothing."

"Your face says otherwise."

"It's nothing. It was a long time ago." Alina demurred.

"Denying it just makes me more curious you know." Genya said matter of fact.

"Is that David I see?" Alina blurted, trying to distract the redhead.

It seems that she won't be deterred however, "Yes, and he already promised me three dances to night so I would leave him alone. Now Alina, spit it out!" she demanded.

The other girl sighed. "Fine, fine. It happened long ago and Zoya and I talked it out already, okay?"

"Uh-huh."

Alina let-out another sigh and then, "I didn't like Zoya before because the first time I saw her, she was making eyes with Mal."

Nikolai heard Genya's giggle in time with his raising eyebrow. He doesn't like it but it already happened and he can't do anything about it. Besides, it's just making eyes. It's noth-"

"I'm not the jealous type! Would you stop giggling, Genya? Just so you know, I confronted Zoya about it once. She... She admitted that she and Mal slept together." Alina finished with a whisper.

That shut Genya up. Nikolai dropped his glass and it shattered. Nikolai was familiar with the black monster curled in his heart but not this one. This green rage beast that swiftly took over him. An arrow of pure irrational jealousy pierced him and twisted painfully in his heart.

"What was that?" Alina asked after a startled shriek.

"It was just..." Genya replied, standing up to investigate.

Nikolai meanwhile, was rooted to the spot. Genya and Alina are going to see him, but he couldn't care less. A part of him wanted to be seen, to demand answers. But the decision was taken from him.

"I'm sorry, it slipped." a quiet voice said. When Nikolai return to his senses, he saw a petite girl standing in front of Genya.

She has a slim built, caramel skin and long black hair. He didn't even notice her.

"Oh, it's fine Inej. The servants will take care of that, don't worry about it." Genya said, smiling a little.

"Thank you." she replied. "I-Is that Sankta Alina?" The girl, Inej exclaimed.

Nikolai used the distraction to leave the scene unnoticed. He'll just thank Kaz's girlfriend later. He was not fit for human company right now.

He strode away, what Genya said still echoing in his head. His jealousy towards the dragon was fully justified in his opinion. Yes, he realized that it was a dragon of all things. But, he got Zoya to do what Nikolai has been trying to do for years. For Zoya to be relax and to let her guard down in his presence.

If that's not enough, Juris understood her, in the way that Nikolai never could. He taught her great things and he'd known the true her. In the short time that they were trapped in the Fold, Zoya had cared about Sankt Juris and Nikolai, was jealous of him for that.

He got over the most of it, now. But as soon as he thought that, another problem of the jealous variety came his way. He continues to fend off the advances of Zoya's many, many suitors with his humorous jokes about her ruthlessness and skillful deflection.

Nikolai thought that he was being unreasonable when he did not want to think about Zoya's past lovers. He refused to be affected by men he didn't know. But to have a former lover with a name, a person that he knows was even worse. Nikolai doesn't believe in it, but was this karma at play?

Nikolai was almost at the double doors but what he saw at the corner of his eye halted him in his tracks. Zoya and Oretsev, dancing. Nikolai didn't think of it at first. It is not exactly a usual topic of conversation among polite company. But now, seeing them together, he can't help but kick himself for not noticing it sooner.

It was a wholesome dance for all intense and purposes but Nikolai's brain skipped that. All that it's willing to acknowledge was that guy has his hands on his general! A wave of jealousy hit Nikolai, his pulse quickened, his vision tunneled on the two and he saw red.

Nikolai back tracked and purposely weaved his way through the waltzing couples. He was still entertaining the thought of where to punch Oretsev when he reached them. Their back was to him and he arrived just in time when Oretsev twirled her.

Nikolai stepped in and caught Zoya in his arms. One of his hand locked possessively on her waist and his other hand clasped one of hers. Zoya's other hand felt great on his shoulder and when they spun, it made Nikolai's night perfectly. Nikolai saw a flash of surprise in her deep blue eyes and yet, she didn't pull away from him. He gladly gave his back on Oretsev's shock face.

Zoya wore a gown with the lightest shade of blue Nikolai had ever seen before. Layers of ice blue silk clung to her in waves, all of her hair was up coiled around a clear colored stick with a pastel blue feather jutting out. Teardrop shaped earrings were fasten on her earlobes, shiny rope like jewelries were rapped on her wrists, her neck and on her feet like water on skin. Incidentally giving her the appearance of a queen of the nymphs. Ah, here he was, thinking of her as a queen even in his fantasies.

Nikolai would have been happy to just drink her in and reveled with the feel of her in his arms. But Zoya had other ideas unfortunately. "Is there something wrong?"

"With my face? Never." he answered with an exadurated wink.

"No, with your brain, obviously." Zoya snapped.

Nikolai lowered her into a dip. "Why, don't tell me you're worried about me Nazyalensky."

"You are Ravka's king, wretch though you may be." Zoya said, their faces and bodies closer than what is properly acceptable.

It would be easy for Nikolai to erase the distance between them right then and there. He managed to stop himself however, and had straighten with her still in his arms. The one thing he couldn't do is to let her go, it seems. "Fear not Zoya dear, Ravka is still in good hands."

"If it's not Ravka then, what is it?" she questioned as they sway in the music. "And why are you annoying Mal again?"

Hearing that guy's name on her lips darken Nikolai's previously good mood. "Can't I dance with my general for no good reason?" he answered with a clenched jaw. "For your information Zoya, Oretsev and I are indifferent with each other."

"Couldn't you have waited?" she countered with a raised eyebrow.

"I am a king; I wait for no one." Nikolai answered as they circled the dancefloor. "Besides, the both of us are chill about it."

"The way you were acting says otherwise." she commented.

"Ah, you finally admit that you can't take your eyes off of me then, Nazyalensky?" Nikolai tried to joke. But it fell flat in the face of Zoya's incredulous stare.

"Since you've rudely interrupted our dance for no good reason, I think you owe me the truth Your Highness." Zoya pressed.

Nikolai wrinkled his nose. "I am an amazing conversationalist and a passable dancer Nazyalensky, why suffer the company of another?"

"Mal is an old friend." Zoya defended.

"An old lover, you mean?" Nikolai snapped. Both he and Zoya seized their movements with those words.

Zoya's eyes narrowed into angry slits and she tried to pull away but Nikolai tighten his hold on her. "As I've said, my personal life is none of your business Your Highness."

He refuses to let this argument pile on to the many things left unsaid between them. So he confessed, "What if I want it to be?"

Zoya missed a step and Nikolai took it as his chance to subtly bring her closer. He didn't want anyone to over hear their ensuing conversation so Nikolai bent low to look her in the eyes and he whispered. "I'm jealous, Zoya. The only arms I want around you are my own.”

Prompt: Jealous Nikolai.

A/N: Read and review!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	9. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoya has a secret admirer

A/N: A short zoyalai drabble.  
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters.  
"First, a bouquet of blue Salvias. Next, a single lavender rose. Then, one red rose in full bloom. And white tulips. Your admirer is telling you something Nazyalensky." Nikolai said from the door while he watches Zoya discover another flower in her writing desk.  
Zoya wrinkled her nose, "The idiot should just leave precious Jules. That, I’ll notice. “She gave the flower her most withering glare. Then, Zoya grab her papers and left.  
When Nikolai was certain Zoya was gone, he stepped in, reached for the flower and swiftly pocketed it.  
He left mentally cursing Genya.  
‘Loves flowers my foot.’  
Prompt: Zoya has a secret admirer.  
A/N: Thanks for reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	10. Gossip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls gossip about Nikolai and Zoya.

A/N: This is a short one.  
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters.  
Zoya was attending to her correspondents in her office, this was how she usually spends her time. Everything is peaceful now and they could finally relax. Zoya prefers her current boring afternoon to the chaotic days of the past.  
Zoya heard someone knock so she murmured her permission for whoever it is to enter.  
Zoya was signing a letter when she heard someone cleared their throat in front of her so she raised her head to see Nikolai, smiling from ear to ear.  
"I don't like that look."  
"Careful Zoya dear, you might wound my feelings with that comment you know."  
"I'd rather have something land on your foot. One of these paperweights maybe?"  
Nikolai wagged a finger at her, "You might want to think about the consequences Zoya."  
Zoya released a long suffering sigh, "What do you want Nikolai?"  
"Nothing," he said and sat at the chair across from her.  
He leaned back, crossed his legs and just stared at her. His hazel eyes are smoldering in their intensity, Nikolai's watching Zoya's every move like a hawk.  
Zoya tried to ignore him but Nikolai has a special talent of getting under her skin. So after a few heartbeats, she snapped, "Can't you bother someone else?"  
"Are my good looks really that distracting?"  
"Annoying is what you are."  
"I have information that proves otherwise," Nikolai said, the corner of his lips tilting upwards.  
Zoya scowled, "I don't know what you mean."  
Nikolai's smile widens, as if he couldn't help himself. "I was walking around and then..."  
*flashback*  
Nikolai was strolling around the grand palace, it's not every day he gets a free time. He was passing a saloon when he heard familiar laughter.  
“They act like they’re married but they’re not a couple?”  
“No.”  
“Not yet.”  
"So, do you think she'll still do it?"  
"Hmmm... I don't think so."  
"Not on her own accord. But with a little meddling..."  
Nikolai saw through the slightly open door that most of the girls are in the room, likely gossiping.  
Nikolai shook his head. It never crossed his mind that Genya, Nadia, Tamar and Alina are in to that but there they are.  
He was about to leave them alone when he heard Tamar said, "Zoya might kill us but I say we do it."  
"When she finds out we'll just tell her it's her own undoing."  
The girls giggled. Then Nadia stood and lifted her chin haughtily.  
"Toss him over, break his heart cruelly. I will gladly give our poor prince comfort, and I will make a magnificent queen."  
*end flashback*  
Zoya fluffed her hair, "That was a long time ago."  
"Indeed," Nikolai agreed, a sly smirk on his lips. "You owe me Nazyalensky."  
Zoya's eyes narrowed and she ground her teeth in anger. A sudden gust of wind blew into the closed office. "I owe you nothing!"  
"Just admit it Zoya, you couldn't resist me even then~”  
Prompt: The girls gossip about Zoya and Nikolai.  
Prompt: Nikolai finds out that Zoya will gladly comfort him when Alina rejected him.  
A/N: Read and review.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, I think this idea is cute.


	11. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Zoya

A/N: I enjoyed writing drabbles so here's another one.  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.  
"I want to be a red-head. Hey Genya? Genya! Tailor my hair.  
"Where are we going?" Zoya slurred.  
"I'm taking you to your room, you're too drunk."  
"I'm not..." Zoya swayed so Nikolai carried her.  
Nikolai shook his head; he didn’t know that the girls having a night out could be this stressful.  
“Hey Sobachka, are we there yet?”  
“No.”  
They went on like that, Nikolai didn’t know that drunk Zoya is annoying yet, adorable. Until, “Hey Nikolai?”  
“Yes?”  
Zoya giggled, “You’re handsome.”  
Nikolai tripped on air at that comment. How he wishes Zoya would remember it in the morning.  
Prompt: Zoya is drunk and Nikolai deals with her.  
A/N: Review?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't like this much. I don't think I did a good job here. *shrugs*


	12. Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikolai is sick

A/N: It's not my favorite work but I'll let you guys be the judge of it.  
Disclaimer: I don't own The Grisha Trilogy.  
It hurts. Nikolai's head hurts so fucking much. It's like someone is bashing his scull with a hammer repeatedly.  
He wants to cry out in pane but his sore throat prevented that. His body felt hot and just the thought of getting up made him dizzy. Nikolai was sick.  
Nikolai steeled himself and tried to sit up. He grabs the edge of the bed and hulled himself. It feels like he had been here for too long. Nikolai doesn't have time to be sick right now.  
"What are you doing!" a feminine voice snapped.  
The next thing Nikolai knew; hands were gently pushing him back on the bed. Those same hands felt his neck and forehead. Unsatisfied with the results, a damp cloth was soon placed there.  
"Just stay in bed would you? Don't move too much."  
"Zoya?" Nikolai rasped and made an effort to open his eyes and it was indeed his general sitting on the chair beside his bed.  
Zoya's hair was a bit ruffled and there were dark smudges under her eyes but she was still the most beautiful woman Nikolai had ever seen. There's a bowl of water on the table near her and she has a book on her lap.  
Nikolai frowned, "What are you doing here?"  
Zoya rolled her eyes, "What do you think? I'm here to take care of you obviously."  
He could only blame his pounding head for what he said next. "Huh?"  
Zoya let-out an irritated sigh, "We can't let the public know that their golden king isn't immune to sickness so we decided to keep it secret. Since they think I'm your mistress anyway, Genya volunteered me to watch over you."  
Nikolai opened his mouth to retort but he coughs instead. After his fit, he took the hancorcheif that Zoya offered and wipes his face. Of all the people who gets to see him in a vulnerable state, it had to be her.  
"How long have I've been like this?"  
"It's been two days."  
It's been two days, Zoya was at his bedside for two days, she took care of him that long. Although she didn't say anything, she had been worried about him, her less than perfect appearance said as much.  
Nikolai closed his eyes, thinking about it made his head hurt. He burrowed under the covers and drag his weaken fingers to massage his temple, attempting to lessen the pane there.  
"I hadn’t kept you alive just to watch you smother yourself on your covers. Get out of there and try to eat something."  
"Why," Nikolai croaked. "It's such a peaceful way to go."  
"I don't have patience for this. Get. Out of there. Right. Now."  
Nikolai burrowed deeper. "I don't want to."  
"Nikolai!"  
"Zoya."  
A sudden gust of wind lifted Nikolai's covers off of him and he whimpered in protest. He aches all over and he just want to hide in there until this horrible sickness passed.  
Nikolai felt the bed dip and the scent of wildflowers reached him. "You should drink this broth. The sooner you eat; the sooner you'll get better."  
Nikolai turned so he could face Zoya but he got a face full of her thigh instead. He didn't move though, her warmth felt good. Of all the scenarios he imagined to have her on his bed, this wasn't one of them.  
Nikolai cleared his throat, "I don't think I can stomach anything right now honestly."  
"Just try, I'll help you." said Zoya.  
So Nikolai did. With Zoya's help, he managed to sit up but he still couldn't do it for long. When he started to sway, Zoya leaned him against her. She carried most of his weight and she had an arm around his waist to keep him upright.  
"Won't you get sick?" Nikolai murmured but he couldn't help himself to nestle in to her neck.  
"Grishas don't get sick."  
"Hm."  
"Don't fall asleep on me Nikolai. You at least have to eat something."  
But her voice just lulled him further to sleep. Zoya's soft body and her familiar scent. It's not an ideal way to get close to her, but Nikolai will take what he can get right now.  
"I swear Nikolai, you're such a royal pane." Zoya grumbled but she shifted a bit to accommodate him.  
Prompt: Nikolai got sick so Zoya reluctantly takes care of him.  
Prompt: Domestic Zoya.  
A/N: Please R and R.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	13. Amnesia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoya has amnesia

A/N: This style worked well on my other story so I decided to try it here.  
Disclaimer: I don't own The Grisha Trilogy.  
I  
Nikolai couldn’t believe it when he heard it. Because really, what’s the worst thing that could happen?  
Fate apparently heard him and had immediately gave him his answer.  
“Why am I in the Darkling’s room?” Zoya asked, confusion clouding her striking blue eyes.  
She tried to sit up so Nikolai reached to help her. His hands were on her waist when she stiffens and suddenly batted him away.  
“Never touch me without my expressed permission Sovachka.” She spat the words at him.  
His body froze and Nikolai’s heart stopped beating. It had finally sunk in that Zoya indeed had amnesia.  
II  
It was just after their battle with the Fjerdans. They won but Zoya got injured Genya and Nikolai didn’t leave her bedside.  
She took a nasty hit on the head, Nikolai saw it. It had been a week yet; she was still unconscious.  
He wishes she would wake up already. They did it, saved Ravka and beaten their enemies. All is well, except her.  
Now that Nikolai can think clearly, he realized that he’s an idiot. The queen he was searching for, was beside him all along.  
Nikolai planned to tell Zoya when she wakes up.  
Nikolai wasn’t expecting this.  
III  
Nikolai got over his initial shock to call for Genya and the palace physician.  
Zoya was still in a defensive position but she relaxed marginally when she saw Genya. The doctor confirmed that she has temporary amnesia.  
“Her memory will return gradually Your majesty.” He reassured Nikolai.  
Nikolai just nodded and thank the doctor. His eyes couldn’t help but to fix themselves to Zoya’s door.  
Genya was with her, the only one she allowed to get close. She said she’ll explain everything to Zoya and closed the door.  
Nikolai tried not to feel hurt at the dismissal. But he failed.  
IV  
Nikolai saw Zoya today. She was immaculate as ever, glowering at everyone and she looked good doing it.  
Their eyes met from across the room but Nikolai looked away. He couldn’t bare the lack of recognition there.  
Genya said that she took everything in stride. After she told Zoya the story and showed her some evidence, she tossed her hair back and sniffed.  
“Of course the best room would be mine. Now, get out. I need to change.”  
“She didn’t even say thank you!” Genya exclaimed with tears on her eyes. She seemed happy though so Nikolai didn’t console her.  
V  
Zoya knocked and she was told to enter.  
“Here are the reports Your majesty.”  
“Just put it there Nazyalensky.”  
Zoya placed the papers on the side and looked around. This office is familiar to her.  
The clutter of things everywhere, the organized files on the desk and the king sitting behind it.  
King Nikolai watched her when he thought she wasn’t looking. Zoya was used to men staring at her. But it’s different with him.  
He was doing it right now, a mix of hope and trepidation in his eyes.  
Zoya didn’t understand it so she just curtsied and left.  
VI  
Nikolai sighed and let his head drop on the table.  
He knew it will take time but he couldn’t help the hope that sprang on him when he saw Zoya looking around in his office.  
The two of them spent a lot of time here. This was where they teased and fought one another. Where they made significant decisions together. Or to just do their work, a comfortable silence between them.  
Nikolai saw it in her eyes, Zoya didn’t remember him.  
To be surrounded with memories and to see her every day without telling her he loved her was torture.  
VII  
“Did I had an affair with the king?”  
Genya spat her tea and Zoya just raised an eyebrow, her arms crossed.  
She wiped herself, averting her eyes. “Why are you asking me that?”  
Zoya just stared and Genya sighed.  
“I don’t know. You fan the rumors but didn’t admit to anything.”  
Zoya paced, “He’s always staring at me. He’ll caught my eye at random times and seemed to say something but he’ll look away before he could.”  
“I really don’t know Zoya,” Genya said sadly. “You were the one closest to Nikolai.”  
That statement took the wind from Zoya’s sails.  
VIII  
Everyone stared when Zoya arrived.  
She was wearing a deep blue gown that matched her eyes.  
Her sleeves were cuffed and her arms were bare. The gown showed a bit of her neckline and belled at her waist to reach the floor. Shimmering silver gossamer was stitched on her dress, giving the appearance of a night sky.  
Most of Zoya’s hair was a glossy curtain on her back. Genya braided some to keep it off of her face and fasten a small clip near her ear to hold it together.  
Nikolai’s mouth dried and he couldn’t take his eyes away.  
IX  
Nikolai’s jaw hurt from clenching it the whole evening. He flexed his fingers, he gripped the railings too hard.  
The air in the ballroom stifled him so he decided to go out for a bit.  
Zoya was being fond over by men, there’s nothing unusual with that. What’s unusual was the raging jealousy he felt.  
Nikolai wanted to break each of the men’s face. To take Zoya away and hide her so no fool would drool over her ever again.  
Should he do something? Will Zoya even want him to.  
“Were none of the ladies to your liking Your majesty?”  
X  
Zoya saw the king stiffen but relaxed on the sound of her voice. He still didn’t turn though.  
The king laughed but it sounded bitter to Zoya’s ears. “Memories or no, you’re still trying to pawn me off to someone Nazyalensky.”  
That information bothered Zoya more than it should.  
“Have you gotten tired of your admirers then?”  
Zoya stood beside him and fluff her hair on one shoulder. “They’re fools.”  
“I agree with that.”  
Zoya noticed that he was staring, specifically on her back. It showed through the crisscross design of her gown.  
“Your back is beautiful too you know.”  
XI  
Zoya stilled at that.  
“So, you were my lover?”  
Nikolai’s face darkens as he bit out. “No.”  
Zoya raised her eyebrows. Her lovers were the only one who she showed her back.  
“I’m not one of them.” Said the king, his hazel eyes boring into hers.  
“What are you then?” Zoya whispered looking up at him.  
He opened and closed his mouth a few times but didn’t say anything.  
His gaze dropped on her lips though.  
The next thing Zoya knew, she was being pulled close and Nikolai’s face hovered over hers. Zoya’s eyes fluttered shut and their lips met.  
XII  
Nikolai was in heaven.  
He just couldn’t take it anymore, Nikolai finally snapped.  
He pulled Zoya to him and kissed her for all he’s worth.  
Nikolai caged Zoya on the railings while his fingers berried themselves in her luxurious hair.  
Nikolai’s kiss was demanding. Like she was an oasis and he spent weeks in a desert.  
But gradually, he slowed. Nikolai took his time, savouring her.  
Zoya’s flushed body against his, her familiar scent and her soft, soft lips.  
Nikolai felt Zoya’s arms twined on his neck and she kissed him back. When breathing became necessary, Nikolai finally pulled away.  
XIII  
Nikolai touched his forehead to hers, his arms still snaked around Zoya. He didn’t look like he planned to let her go soon.  
“Nikolai.” Zoya said breathlessly.  
She had remembered everything. The battle, her injury and what happened after.  
Zoya fought hard and risk her life so she could protect this man and all he loves. Her pesky feelings shouldn’t ruin that.  
“Yes?”  
“You’re an idiot.” She huffed but nestled his chest.  
Because even though her head said let go, her heart and body defied it.  
Zoya felt the rumble of Nikolai’s laugh.  
“An idiot who’s in love with you.”  
Prompt: Zoya had temporary amnesia.  
A/N: Thanks for reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I love love zoyalai right now, that’s why I wrote these fics. My one-shots are based on the prompts I made and a few I liked in the internet. If you find a good prompt, I encourage you to write a zoyalai fic about it! And please pm me so I could read it? I miss these characters and I would enjoy to read more stories about them while we wait for KoS2.


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